When I was thirteen, I was walking my dog through my neighborhood (in which my family were the only black people) every white person on Earth (who were all 8-80) slammed me to the ground, made me eat an aluminum Dr. Pepper can they’d covered in Texas Pete, and began kicking me and screaming “YOU AFRICAN AMERICAN NIGGER” and “THE HOMEOWNERS ASSOCIATION GOT TOGETHER AND AGREED THAT BEATING YOU VICIOUSLY WOULD BE THE BEST WAY TO DEAL WITH YOUR WHOLE BEING A BLACK PERSON ISSUE.” I ended up with severe internal bleeding and lupus. They also shaved my dog, made a rope out of her hair, and hanged him from a light post while chanting “BITCH DOG WHO ARE LITERALLY A BITCH DOG BECAUSE YOU ARE A GIRL DOG YOU BITCH DOG. WE ARE ONLY DOING THIS BECAUSE WE ARE EVERY WHITE PERSON IN THE WORLD AND YOU ARE AN AFRICAN AMERICAN NIGGER WITH A BITCH DOG.” So tell me again how racism against blacks doesn’t exist.

I just wish the hand-woven wool beanie caps commemorating the event were still up on Etsy.